Column: Connecting with others at work and home

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Wheeler

Commentary by Randy Wheeler

Do you have to deal with a “difficult person” at work or home? Or at least, you think he or she is difficult. Let me illustrate.

You are in a meeting and this person has no problem sharing his or her opinion. Maybe it feels like he or she is trying to take control all the time. This person seems to always be playing devil’s advocate. Quite honestly, he or she is too aggressive for your liking.

This person is confident and assertive and does not like routine. They try to take charge, but it feels like there is no structure from this person. 

Are you picturing someone like this? Are you this person?

We are all different, but we are predictably different. I want to share a tip or two to help you connect with these different styles. 

How can you communicate in a way that connects with this individual? Let me give you a few tips:

  • Be direct and brief. These people do not like the details, so get to the point.
  • If you need this type of person to make a decision, provide options. This reassures them that they are in control and you are not telling them what to do.
  • Stay focused on the result you want to accomplish. They live by the idea of “just show me the baby.” They don’t care about the process.
  • If you are like me, you’d rather have people adjust to your style, but great leaders at work and home adjust to connect with what is important for the other person. 

Lead well!

Randy Wheeler lives in Fishers with his family and does leadership, communication and team development with organizations, teams and individuals. He can be reached at randy@wheelercoachingsystems.com.

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