Opinion: Giving up phoning it in


How are your New Year’s resolutions going? I deliberately did not make any because,  historically, by March I have failed miserably. Take my 2014 vow to limit my potty mouth: I didn’t even get to Valentine’s Day before I was back to dropping hourly F-bombs, among other swear words. Nope, for me, NYRs are self-created entrapment schemes for failure and self-loathing. Naturally, I avoid them at all costs.

Lent, however, is a whole ‘nother ball game. I am the queen of giving up Diet Coke or dark chocolate or cherry Pop-Tarts for the 40 days leading up to Easter. Nothing life-changing (see stupid NYRs above) but always something that hurts a little. This year’s “sacrifice?” Games on my phone. I know, I know. Doesn’t sound like much, does it? But I’ve gotten into the habit of coming home from work and ignoring people, pets and associated responsibilities and escaping into the world of online happiness, namely Soduku and Words with Friends. I would literally waste hours trying to find the maximum scoring word from four vowels, two Ds and an X, or attempting to break seven minutes on an expert-level Soduku puzzle without typing in notes. Top that!

And I’d gotten to the point where I actually craved the experience. Like a crack addict with my fix, if someone interrupted me, I’d pretend I didn’t hear. “Mom, you said dinner would be ready 30 minutes ago.” (No response).“Mom!” (Umm, I’m playing on my phone). “Mother!” (Fine, I’ll engage). Then I’d sulk to the kitchen muttering “You’re 16 go$da**it! Make your own f#$%ing mac-n-cheese!”

New Year’s resolutions? Clearly not for me.

Peace out.