Column: How to be the best wedding guest


Commentary by Beverly Randolph


Wedding sells are in the air, especially in June! Are you attending a wedding this summer?  There are so many wedding-related questions, below are up-to-date tips to be a great wedding guest.


  • Always RSVP! As quickly you receive it, respond in the manner in which you receive it. This is one of the important planning tools the couple has. They need your cooperation.
  • What do you do with the “M” on the response card?  Follow it with Mr. and/or Ms., then your name(s).
  • The invitation will state who is invited.  If children are not listed, they are not invited.


  • Ideally, send a gift ahead of time. Waiting close to the wedding date limits what you can buy on their registry, and cash in an envelope can get lost at the ceremony, etc.
  • How much do I spend on gift? What you can afford.
  • Do I take a gift if the bride and groom have been previously married? Yes, always take a gift to show your courtesy, enthusiam and excitemnt for them.
  • Send gift ahead of time.

What to wear

  • Use the season or venue as a cue.
  • Is a black dress appropriate to wear?  Yes, a tasteful, simple, little black dress (LBD) is appropriate. Avoid wearing white, blush, champagne, etc., however.


  • Be mindful with social media.
  • No photos during the ceremony. Respect their request if they ask you not to post photos before they do. Most likely, they will provide direction on taking photos. If not, observe a very close friend or family member on what they do. If hashtags are provided, please use them.

Beverly Randolph, MA, is the founder and director of The Protocol School of Indianapolis and a certified Business Etiquette, Children’s Etiquette and International Protocol Consultant as well as an adjunct Instructor.  She can be reached at or [email protected].