Commentary by Danielle Wilson
Women of greater Indianapolis unite, for our day approach-eth! That’s right, people, Mother’s Day 2016 is upon us, and I for one am not taking any chances. There will be no failed expectations, no misunderstood requests, and definitely no crying. Not this year. Not again. As such, I am calling a preemptive do-over. Hear ye, hear ye! Danielle’s most precious eight to 10 hours of blissful solitude will now occur on May 22, as May 8 does not fit into her schedule!
Seriously. Mother’s Day immediately following the first Saturday in May? The mini, first communions, proms, college graduations … and hello-o, the Kentucky Derby. What are these calendar guys thinking? And yes, I mean guys. No female would ever dedicate the day after a single major event, let alone the perfect storm of celebratory obligations, for honoring moms. We’d have chosen a random Sunday during the summer when school is out and the temperature’s consistently a pleasant 79. Oh wait. That’s Father’s Day. I rest my case.
But I digress. As I have learned from countless number of MD’s gone wrong, horribly wrong, moms can’t just hope that everything will turn out fine. We have to plan carefully, articulate our hopes clearly, and if necessary, take matters into our own hands. To wit, our annual Derby party falls on May 7, which means May 8 will be spent picking up, lounging around, and perhaps double-downing on the Advil. (Mint julips are not to be messed with!) Absent from the agenda is coming downstairs to a clean house, enjoying brunch with the peeps (who’ll probably also be experiencing a rough morning), and either shopping at Simply Chic or gorging on buttered popcorn at Regal. Therefore, Mother’s Day must be moved.
I just told Doo about the plan and he didn’t even blink. This ain’t my first rodeo, baby. I’ve also called re-do’s post MD, when sick kids, clueless husbands, or newly-minted driver accidents ruined my day. I’m not taking any chances this year, and I encourage all ladies to follow suit. Good luck, fair matrons, and Godspeed!