Commentary by Heather Kestian
What would you do if you knew that your next task was the last time you would ever complete it? Would you appreciate it more? Be excited for the end? Would you hold on to that moment, hesitate to let it go?
With our recent addition to our family, this question has been haunting me for the last few months. When you know it is your last pregnancy or last birth, does your perspective on the world change?
When our last little one was born, it was the last first breath and cry of a human I will ever hear. And that cry – that sound of life – it is different than all the other cries from children. I cannot describe it, but believe me, it has a sound all its own and it is precious.
As I was being discharged from the hospital, I thought, “I will never do this again.” And then it hit me, this is the last time I will ever have a baby. In that moment, I found a sense of peace. Thank goodness I am done with diaper ice packs!
Perhaps it is the post-pregnancy hormones that have me waxing poetic, but there is something to realizing that there is an end to all that we do. Sometimes we know the end is near. Other times, there is, suddenly, a day where what had been is no longer. I worry at my reaction during these times, will I mind the change?
For example, our little man grew out of his newborn clothes and diapers. These are the last newborn clothes and diapers we will ever have in this house. As I pack them up for them to go to a new home, I think how much love these clothes saw (and poop and spit up). I know these clothes are destined to keep another baby warm and nurture more hopes and dreams of other parents. I must say, I teared up a little packing these precious clothes for their new home.
As they say, “to everything, there is a season,” a reason for why it is you are there. I am thoroughly enjoying this season with our little people as it will be over before I realize it has come to an end. When it ends, I think I will shed tears and I hope they are tears of joy. I hope I can say that I made a difference in the life of another.
