I should send myself more lists


Commentary by Heather Kestian

The good news: my husband did not electrocute himself from putting the new carriage lights in. This was possible because I installed the carriage lights. For the record, I did not electrocute myself either.

What did I learn from sending a honey-do list to my better half? I learned that I should work on negotiating “his tasks” and “her tasks.” I thought a honey do list meant everything on the list was the honey’s responsibility. Clearly, I was misinformed.

After ordering the new lights, I asked my husband to pick up the lights. He placed the three large boxes of lights in the garage. I thought the clutter would send my dear husband over the edge and the lights would go up in a matter of days.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, and the lights remained in their boxes. The lesson: Do this yourself, Heather. What do you fear about this project – electricity coursing through your body and frying your brains?

Why yes, that is exactly what I fear.

I can manage this by myself, right? I am a strong, confident woman who is more than capable of turning off the electricity. I do not need anyone to do this for me!

After researching some You Tube videos (I cannot believe I had to do this), I figured out I needed a circuit tester. Check – we have one of those in the garage. My loving husband retrieved said device, which had two dead batteries. Uncheck. Now we need to go to the hardware store and of course, hilarity ensued.

We make a stop at the hardware store and I explain to the guy what I need. He promptly gets the appropriate tester and then tells me, “Make sure no one turns the electricity on after you turn it off. This gadget tells you when there is no electricity but it doesn’t tell you if someone turns it back on. You know, some guy got fried in a huge dryer because someone turned on the electricity after he had turned it off. You should be more worried about that.”

Thank you, Captain Obvious. You are really helping my fear issues right now.

After testing the circuit approximately 100 times, I figured it was safe for me to touch everything. After 20 minutes of fumbling, I had the carriage lights up, the electricity back on, flipping the switch and enjoying the new light. My husband should be so proud of me and my non-electrifying skills.

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