Opinion: Recipe for a savory Mother’s Day


Friends, after nearly 25 years of being a mom, I think I’ve finally honed my Mother’s Day recipe to perfection. Please enjoy!

  1. Preheat Sunday by letting your partner know that you’ll be AWOL for most of the day. If your kitchen does not include a Sunday or if, like me, your Sunday is generally broken because of anxiety ahead of the looming school week, you can always reposition the rack to Saturday.
  2. The night before, be sure to place the entire package of Restful Sleep in a cool, dark space. Personally, I prefer the larger 10-hour bag, but the eight will work, too. Chef’s choice!
  3. Begin by mixing the chilled Restful Sleep with one cup of coffee and six tablespoons of social media scrolling. Add your favorite flavor of Breakfast (mine is a strawberry protein bar, but you do you!) and continue stirring until the vibe is nice and smooth. Set aside.
  4. On a nonstick cookie sheet, carefully toss together Amanda’s Exchange, Macy’s and a broccoli-cheddar bread bowl from Panera. Bake at 350 for 180 minutes or until you’ve found a miracle one-piece that both slims and lifts.
  5. Now, combine ingredients from Steps 3 and 4 in a medium saucepan. Stir in several cans of sisters-in-law, along with a jar of family tea. Simmer for two hours at Java House.
  6. Remove from heat; let stand until cool. Serve with a side of buttered popcorn and a solo viewing of “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.” Add parenting affirmations to taste.

There you have it, folks. My recipe for a perfect Mother’s Day. Hope you try it next year!

Peace out.