Opinion: An explosion of truth bombs

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Paul Dickson has written 65 books and I’ve read most of them.During his long career, he collected thousands of observations — tiny nuggets of truth — that we can all relate to, and all in a  book  called, “The Official Rules: 5,427 Laws, Principles, and Axioms to Help You Cope with Crises, Deadlines, Bad Luck, Rude Behavior, Red Tape and Attacks by Inanimate Objects.” Whew! That’s just the title.

I contacted Mr. Dickson last week and asked if I could select a few of my favorite entries to share with my readers. He graciously said, “Be my guest,” so here they are. Enjoy!

  • When a man says a game is silly and childish, it’s probably something his wife beat him at.
  • The person with the most raffle tickets has the least chance of winning.
  • There is no virtue in being consistent, if you are consistently wrong.
  • Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.
  • He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
  • If you don’t say anything, you won’t be called on to repeat it.
  • Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three lefts do.
  • If you get a great parking spot, you’ve shown up on the wrong day.
  • If you see a cat and a dog eating out of the same bowl, it was the cat’s food.
  • Once you finally overcome your fear of public speaking, you will never be asked to speak again.
  • When asking directions, the first three people will either: 1: Not speak English, 2: Be stupid, or 3: Be dead wrong.
  • Have a lot to get done? Take your nap first.
  • Regardless of how much you achieve in your life, the size of your funeral will depend on the weather.
  • If you knew what you were doing, you’d be bored.

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