Here are a few observations about life in my house during the last 5 months.
1. When my wife asks me what I want for dinner, I’m torn between saying:
- I don’t care
- I don’t know
2. I love watching golf on TV. If Arnold Palmer is leading the tournament, I’m thinking it may be a repeat.
3. When Mary Ellen and I sit outside in the mornings and talk, after about an hour and a half she’ll say, “That’s interesting. I’ve never heard you say that before.” It’s then I realize that for more than 90 minutes, I hadn’t said anything new.
4. When I see couples walking around our neighborhood, sometimes I’ll see a man in shorts and a T-shirt and his wife is bundled up in a winter coat. Why would a man marry a woman who is always that cold? OK, that sounds sexist. Why would a woman marry a man who is that hot? I’m only making this worse. Never mind.
5. I have no idea what day it is. My brother, Peter, has the best way to keep track. He looks at his weekly pill divider.
6. My wife has a crush on two TV stars. First, Idris Elba. This 6′-foot-3, talented actor is a major hunk with a British accent. She also has a thing for Dr. Anthony Fauci. Standing 5-7, he’s a brilliant immunologist. He is articulate and measured. What do I have in common with either of these men? I was once 5-7.
7. We use Zoom for our church services. We have several older members in the congregation. When I commented that it felt like “Hollywood Squares,” I was glad a lot of people knew what I was talking about.
8. Health care workers are my No. 1 heroes. Anyone who delivers beer is a close second.
9. I’ve been exercising in the basement. I keep careful track of everything. It’s exactly 53 steps from the furnace room to the couch, another 27 around the treadmill. That takes me 32.6 seconds and it’s precisely .07 miles. Why am I running around my basement when I have a treadmill? Because the machine is covered in winter clothing.
10. My to-do list has nothing on it these days. Now, I have a not-to-do list (don’t go to the movies; don’t get a haircut; don’t go to the YMCA …). The list is long. I’m worried I’ll never get it all not done.
As you can see from that last one, I may be losing my mind.