Opinion: An alien encounter

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Commentary by Bill Shaffer

As an official non-mayor of Carmel, I was astonished the other afternoon to watch a flying saucer land smack-dab in the middle of a roundabout. Fortunately, the Ministry of Silly Sculptures hadn’t impeded the landing zone with one of its 21st century monstrosities.

From the saucer stepped a green man about 9 inches tall and wearing a snappy yellow blazer.

“Do you come in peace?” I asked.

“No,” he said in a slightly Canadian accent. “I came in a flying saucer.”

“From where?”

“The Planet Lemrac in the far-off galaxy of Somewhere.”

“Beyond our universe?”

“Somewhere. Lemrac is in a parallel universe,” he said. “Everything there is the opposite of what it is on Planet Earth, except these wonderful spaceship landing ports you build. Roundabouts, you call them.”

“What’s it like in Lemrac?” I pressed.

“On Lemrac, people are not governed, they are served. Leaders renounce the first-person pronouns when they assume office. Oh, and they aren’t offices. They work out of their homes.

“Homes are where Citizens entertain themselves rather than being entertained. We used to have free concerts, bazaars and parades. They were such shallow things. And, everyone gets dressed up every day. Our motto is: When you want to be taken seriously, dress seriously. And, best of all, whenever a citizen has a question, he or she merely phones city hall and promptly receives an answer.”

He then urged me to give his best regards to all Carmelistas, hopped back into the space machine and took off, leaving me hoping he’d return.

If you have a question for the alien from Lemrac, write me at news@currentincarmel.com

Thought for the Week:  If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere. – Groucho Marx


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