Opinion: A kneed for patience

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Commentary by Dick Wolfsie

(As it might have been written by Mary Ellen)

Dick has been home this past week on the living room couch, recuperating from knee replacement surgery. I am his designated coach, responsible for taking care of him and ensuring that he does all the required exercises and maintains a healthy diet. After all, that’s what wives are for.

I’m prepared to respond to anything Dick might need. Uh, could you excuse me for a second? He’s calling me. “Yes, of course, sweetheart, I’ll get you a glass of water. That’s what I’m here for. There you go.”

So, as I was about to say, my husband is a very good patient and I’m sure that –“What’s that, Dear? Yes, I got the water from the tap. Oh, you wanted bottled water? Of course, that would be my pleasure. Funny, you usually say bottled water is a big waste of money. Let me just run to the store. I want to be sure you are happy.”

Sorry for the interruption. Now, for some — “What, Dick? You want another pillow? I’ll get you one. Here you go. Yes, it’s a down pillow. For 40 years we’ve used down pillows. But now, all of a sudden you feel like a foam rubber pillow? Well, not a problem, let me just go down in the basement crawl space and look through 25 years of cobwebs and see if there might be one. Here you go. Maybe this will make you happy! Sorry, I mean: I sincerely hope this makes you happy, sear.”

Readers, I’m sorry for the interruptions. But it’s very important to be supportive — “I’ll be right there, Dick. No, I didn’t realize that a bulb in our cathedral ceiling was out. Actually, I never even noticed we had lights up there, but then I’m not lying on my back with absolutely nothing to do all day but think of things … sorry, let me get a new bulb and then see if I can find someone in the neighborhood with a 20-foot ladder.”

I must say that Dick has been very grateful for all my help. He even told me the other day that I was “irreplaceable.” That’s so sweet. I wish the doctor had felt that way about his knee.

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