Opinion: Shedding no tears


College update: I have not shed a single, pathetic tear since we dumped our oldest at a non-air conditioned dorm to begin his freshman year of college. Except for my embarrassing, periodic weeping during “This is Us” episodes and a slight catch in my throat when Theon had a Shawshank moment in the “GOT” season finale, I have been 100 percent emotion-free this past month. And no, it’s not because I’m a soulless, day-walkin’ ginger. It’s because Doo and I did a pretty good job of raising our son, and it was high-time Geoffrey got the heck out of Dodge, i.e., “Our House.”

Granted, I did text G quite frequently the first few days, but I never actually called. And admittedly, I do think of him often, but usually in the context of “Damn, I wish I had Geoffrey here to drive Maddie to dance” or “His room has never been this clean!” But I haven’t yet succumbed to the memories of him as an adorable baby or a precocious toddler or even as a bratty teen. If anything, G’s absence has given me more time to focus on our remaining three, who are quite busy having memorable moments of their own.

Besides, since he’s been on his own, Geoffrey has successfully weathered a weekend illness, an outdated insurance card, a room violation and a food market that apparently sells only Vegan bread. He’s attending classes (I think), doing laundry (I hope) and even organizing his own ride home for a family reunion (though he booked the wrong bus company).

Yep, our son is doing fine, and so am I. Just not while watching TV.

Peace out.