Commentary by Danielle Wilson
While I was watching the Peyton Manning bit he did for the ESPY Awards about his new life in a retirement home, all I kept thinking was exactly. Senior living facilities sound like a little slice of heaven. Yes, Medicare is still a couple of decades away for me, but AARP is less than five years out. Happy Acres could be a reality just as my youngest graduates high school!
I’m serious, folks. Peyton jokes about early dinners, craft time and competitive shuffle board, but ask anyone who knows me well and they’ll tell you those have “Danielle’s Dream Come True” written all over them. And having someone else cook, clean and drive for me? In my book, that’s called “vacation,” people.
It’s my understanding that these places also offer super-fun organized mall outings and game mornings (bingo!), 24-hour access to soft-serve ice cream (score!) and, the piece de resistance . . . monthly Matlock marathons! And I can basically do whatever my currently pace-maker-free heart desires. I can stay in my room all day and read nothing but Nora Roberts. I can eat supper at four p.m. and then immediately go to bed. I can even swear repeatedly for no reason at all, just like an NFL player (right, Peyton?). And no one, absolutely no one, will judge me for it because I’m in a retirement home . . . that’s just what old fogies do!
I’ve already spoken with my husband Doo, and he fully supports me, especially if he meets an unfortunate early demise. So, Peyton, hang in there. I’ll see you in 2022, and we’ll grow old together!