An estimated 84,000,000 Americans tuned into the first presidential debate at New York’s Hofstra University last month, but Donald Trump did not seem to be among them. Mentally he had checked out, maybe to seek admission to Dr. Snuffleupagus’ clinic to score some surplus Claritin. A consensus of post debate polls revealed 54 percent of respondents thought Hillary Clinton won, 24 percent considered Trump the winner while the other 22 percent either had no opinion or looked at the questioner like they were crazy for even asking. The month of September witnessed a Trump surge that thrust the real estate mogul into a dead heat, so these numbers indicate half his supporters thought he lost. His own spin-doctors were ecstatic he managed to pronounce his own name correctly. And for that they should thank grandpa for changing it from Drumpf. Many people said that whoever watched that debacle and still plans to vote for Donald Trump, hates America. Trump embarked on a post-debate oblivion tour to tell whoever would listen (Fox News) how everybody was telling him he had totally won the debate by a wide margin. Presumably these are the same “delusionals” who so often remark on his terrific temperament. Not just a great temperament, the best temperament in the history of presidential politics. The major debate knock against Hillary Clinton is that she was too scripted, but that’s more Team Trump sniping, jealous that the former Secretary of State was able to string words together into actual sentences with subjects and predicates and points and stuff. You know, in a presidential sort of manner. The show’s not over, so don’t despair. There are debates scheduled for Oct. 9 and Oct. 19.

Copyright © 2016, Will Durst. Distributed by the Cagle Cartoons Inc. syndicate. Durst is a columnist, comedian and former Pizza Hut assistant manager. You may write him at [email protected].