Opinion: How full is your bucket?

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Commentary by Heather Kestian

As we were sitting down to eat dinner last week, my oldest asked me the following question, which was completely unsolicited: “Mom, how was your day, today? Did you do anything fun?”

What just happened? Is this reality?

Usually, his dad and I drill him and his brother with questions about their day. What did you do? What did you learn? How were your classes? Did you get to play outside? It might sound a bit like an interrogation or an inquisition, depending on your perspective. But on the day in question, our first grader started the conversation.

Naturally, we asked what prompted this change. As fate would have it, it was Kindness Week at school. He learned that people like it when you ask about their day—so he decided to experiment with his newfound knowledge. In fact, all week long he was going to do nice things for people without being asked to do so. Being a person of science, I do love a good experiment, so go forth and do good, kid. We asked him to report back on his findings at the end of the week.

Sure enough, the kid delivered. He cleaned up his room without a single prompt. He gave his brother extra hugs when the little one fell down. He kept asking thoughtful questions. He said he did the same thing at school—picking up things his friends had dropped and helping others at his table. It was absolutely beautiful to watch.

Towards the end of the week, he asked me if my bucket was full, empty or “so-so.” Well, I think it is mostly full. Why do you ask? He had learned this week that the bucket story was indeed true. The more he did for others, the better he felt too, so his bucket was really full.

For all the lessons he has ever learned, this was easily the most valuable. I hope his teachers know the difference they made during Kindness Week. You have given him a changed perspective through experimentation with kindness. Empowering a person to consider how their actions can impact others and themselves is an invaluable life lesson, one I fear far too few people understand. Don’t mistake me, I love science, math and reading, but this lesson is superior to anything you find in a textbook and much harder to learn. Thank you for helping shape the heart and soul of my little human.


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