Column: Why people really quit going to church

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I had the wonderful opportunity to work with young adults for most of my time in ministry. I can’t tell you how many times I would hear stories about how the church deeply hurt them. Sometimes it was true and really sad! Sometimes it was false, and sometimes it was an actual event but with a ridiculous response.

Let me explain….

I have discovered that anyone who wants out of almost any situation will find a reason to do so. From quitting a marriage to quitting college, if you really want out you WILL find a reason to quit and by the time you share your story about your old marriage, college, job, or even church you have convinced others and yourself that you are a victim of your situation.

Don’t get me wrong … there really are horrific things that happen in marriages, jobs, colleges, and even churches, things that absolutely need real professional and legal attention.

Yet, what amazes me even more are what some people will put up with when they really want to graduate, stay married, get promoted, or even serve in a ministry.

Here is the bottom line, if you want out of something YOU WILL find a reason to quit, to be offended, or to walk away. Furthermore, every time you share your story you will become more and more the victim. Because you know, you just have to justify your action.

If you really, really want to grow spiritually nothing will keep you from pursuing God, not even weird people who clearly get spirituality completely wrong.

If it has been years since you have been in a church let me tell you what you will find – a bunch of messy humans looking to find deep meaning in this crazy world. They may say things that are off, misrepresent Jesus, and probably offend you. The ways of Jesus aren’t culturally cool, and you probably won’t like that either. We also have our weirdo people too, just like every gym, job, and school.

So if you are looking for perfection, look to Jesus. If you are looking for some messy people with whom you can figure out your own messy life, you will fit right in … and most likely be offended at some point.

This is the story of the church from its inception in Acts. Even Paul the Apostle in his Biblical letters is constantly holding people in the church accountable and helping them work through their mess. Welcome to real church. Messy church and messy you all pursuing God.


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