I cannot believe that so few women got worked up about my column on pornography! Granted, my editor cut a few key phrases that involved a search engine and the female anatomy, but still, I’d hoped to elicit a little more backlash. Maybe I’ll have more luck with this one.
Why does divorce still have such a stigma attached to it? I get that Henry VIII wasn’t exactly a role model for disgruntled husbands, but in this day and age, why do people still whisper the word like it’s some communicable disease? Let’s get real here.
Sometimes two people fall out of love. Sometimes they should have never gotten married to begin with. And sometimes circumstances arise that completely change the playing field. During the last year, I’ve watched two close friends go through divorces, and though they’ve each struggled, I personally applaud their choices to call it quits. Frankly, I was tired of always hearing of their misery and frustrated that they weren’t doing anything about it.
Were these tough decisions? Certainly. Especially when children are involved, divorce is not a matter to be taken lightly. But after years of counseling and continued unhappiness, both had reached their breaking points. Neither of their marriages was going to get better, so why spend another moment feeling angry and bitter and subjecting their children to an unhealthy relationship? Now, at least they have the opportunity to find love again, to be happy again, and their kids can see Mommy and Daddy actually getting along.
And I know this isn’t true in all divorces, and maybe not even in most, but for both of my friends, their communication and interaction with their ex-husbands is the best it has been in a long time. They are doing fantastic jobs of co-parenting and of helping their kids understand that divorce is a good thing for their families.
Will everyone need counseling? Yes. Are the children struggling? Yes. Are there still people who think they should get back together? Yes. But in my humble opinion, if a couple decides that their family will be better off through divorce, then it really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. Naysayers need to shut up and start being supportive. And for Pete’s sake, they need to stop bringing up religion. Divorcees experience enough guilt without supposed loved ones reminding them about their commitment before God. Part of what makes us human is our propensity to make mistakes. God understands that, so why can’t we?
Divorce is never ideal, but in a less than ideal world, I think it should at least be a valid and respectable option.