School is upon us, my friends. And I, for one, am thrilled! Can I get a “Whoop, whoop!”?
See, as much as I love summer vacation (and need a break from the grueling parenting demands of four not-always-so-well-organized children), I am usually ready for it to be over after approximately five weeks. Because that’s the time it takes for my beautifully-constructed summer plan to go to hell.
Take the computer/Xbox restrictions. In June, my husband and I monitored our kids’ electronic playtime very closely to ensure minimum brain cell damage and muscle atrophy. But as the heat set in and the novelty of swimming in our neighborhood pool wore off, our commitment to occasional Amish-style living bit the dust, much like my drought-stricken petunias.
As for the chore list, it fared only somewhat better. Between a beach vacation and grandparent visits, sport camps and sleepovers, we weren’t here enough to make much of a mess. And frankly, I just stopped caring who skipped out on doing dishes. “Let’s order pizza!”
We continued to have movie night approximately once a week, and were treated to some downright awful viewings. Doo and I, still slugging through the Top 100 Films of All Time, wasted over four hours of our lives with Raging Bull and Cabaret (sans kids as both are R-rated) and decided we’d rather participate in a marathon loop of our daughter’s choice Breaking Dawn before ever seeing either of those again. Painful. That’s truly saying something if you’ve seen any of the Twilight movies!
And the summer reading program I so boldly promoted? It never even got to committee. I completed my eight books (including Fifty Shades!), and won an always-appreciated fine reduction coupon from the library, but I don’t think any of my kids finished one stinkin’ book. They were too busy destroying each other’s Minecraft villages or watching YouTube videos on eye make-up application. But again, at some point around July 1, I couldn’t have cared less.
When I was little, unless I had to read, I wasn’t gonna do it and you can’t make me! They’re supposed to be on break, right? They’re supposed to be enjoying time away from schoolwork. It’s okay if they don’t want to read. (Yes, I actually convinced myself that I was helping rejuvenate my children’s abused minds through video games. Yikes.)
So, I’m ready for school to begin. I’m ready for the structure and routine that only bus stops and math homework can provide. I’m ready to put away the stupid sunscreen, track down the moldy lunchboxes, and get back to the controlled world of the academic calendar year. I’m ready to say farewell to Summer 2012. Peace out.